Busybugz's Random Thoughts

Breastfeeding isn't for wimps!

2011-01-06T12:00:00.006+08:00

Breastfeeding is hard. More so when you are a wimp like me!I came across this quotation in one of the writing newsletters I receive weekly. It's from an author named Charles Peguy who said, "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket." When he wrote that, he was thinking of how some writers can conjure up

How shall I begin?

2011-01-02T21:16:00.006+08:00

I just reread my last post which was written in May 2010. How shall I begin this post given my long silence? So much has changed since I attended that writing seminar by Philip Yancey. Not that I have become an established writer. Rather, it's the opposite as I've stopped taking on writing assignments since April. My writing course has been put on hold. The only writing I do since then is in the

What's my Voice?

2010-05-17T16:35:00.003+08:00

I recently attended a writing seminar conducted by Philip Yancey. Yes, the Philip Yancey who wrote books like "Where is God when It Hurts?" and "Prayer - Does it Make Any Difference?". His style of writing is different from your typical Christian writer. There are no catchy punchy short sentences like the books by Max Lucado. He does not write lengthy sentences filled with scriptures, theological

Big thoughts, little thoughts

2010-02-25T15:39:00.001+08:00

It has been more than a month since my last post. I realise that it's harder to come back and write something here when I've been away from it for longer than my usual spell. I have many thoughts and experiences over the past month that I am dying to share but it's all bottled up inside and I don't really know how to start. So, I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind, hence the title "Big

Welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life!

2010-01-12T10:09:00.000+08:00

This sentence struck me as I woke up this morning. The voice in my head wasn't saying it in a nice welcoming way. Rather, it sounded like the voice of Death himself. "The beginning of the rest of my life" at this point of time is akin a dungeon pit to me, filled with darkness and grimly beings and I am in the centre of it all, with my life being slowly

Is it just a symbol?

2009-12-31T09:34:00.009+08:00

DH and I had a fight last night. What about? The significance of New Year's Eve and the start of the New Year. I know what you're thinking - what a ridiculous topic to fight about!DH would not be home tonight for New Year's eve because he will be working. I wanted to have some quality time with him last night, so as to replace our time apart tonight. However, DH had a very busy day at work and

Clutter and me

2009-12-18T15:03:00.004+08:00

Today I stared at fear in the face and said, "I'm not afraid of you. I want you out of my house!" Fear looked back at me and laughed mockingly, "Well, let's see what you've got, little girl!"That was the clutter in our storeroom talking to me. I didn't want to tackle clearing out the storeroom but unfortunately, time is not exactly on our side. Yes, we're only moving at the end of next month,

Hey! Where did the line go??

2009-12-01T10:14:00.001+08:00

This week has been interesting for me. I have been reminded on several occasions that boundaries in our relationships are undeniably important. I've also been reminded that I don't guard my boundaries well which has led to a number of complications and unnecessary stress. The lines around our personal space, both in the mental and emotional sphere are often blurred and sometimes, erased into

Get the juices flowing!

2009-11-18T14:44:00.004+08:00

I miss writing. It's as though a part of me is lying dormant, waiting to be resurrected. Unfortunately, my creative juices seem to be frozen at the moment. My sixth writing assignment looks at me in the face, as though taunting me, telling me, "I'm still waiting...are you ever going to get me completed?"I guess life's busyness got in the way. My daily schedule revolves around work and Osh Osh. My

It's good to be home

2009-11-09T14:44:00.003+08:00

It's so good to be home. Despite my apprehension and worries, the trip, on a whole, went well. Workwise, it was good to reconnect with my counterparts from the other regions. We were productive. We even had time for some short sight-seeing and shopping. Both DH and Mum told me that Osh Osh was very well behaved in my absence. I spoke to DH and Osh Osh over Yahoo Messenger on some nights. It made

An invisible shroud of gloom

2009-10-21T10:18:00.001+08:00

I seem to be walking around in an invisible shroud of gloom lately. I can't seem to shake it off despite my efforts to perk up. I prayed, telling myself that I have many things to be grateful for and that this is an attack from the devil. Still, the shroud remains. Some moments, it is so thick that it suffocates me. Other times, it doesn't constrict my daily normal functioning but I know it's

Hearing the Voice of God

2009-10-08T15:26:00.002+08:00

I learnt a very important lesson on hearing the Voice of God from my son last night. It all began at dinner time. Osh Osh normally eats his dinner at the coffee table while watching his favourite cartoon as DH and I move about the house doing chores. Last night, for a change, we made him sit with us at the dining table. Initially, he was very reluctant. He had to decide between spending time with

Soft Toy Boy

2009-10-07T15:06:00.002+08:00

I've given Osh Osh a new nickname. He's my "Soft Toy Boy". He loves it. Whenever he has the need for extra affection and longer hugs, he will come up to me and say in a soft babyish voice, "Mummy, am I your Soft Toy Boy?" I would reply, "Yes" and give him a hug. He would then repeat the question and I would give him another hug. He can repeat the question up to 5 or 6 times. Our hugs would get

Unwired and docked off!

2009-09-28T10:56:00.002+08:00

I did a very brave thing. I didn't bring my work laptop home this weekend. I can't remember the last time I didn't have it with me over the weekend. What's more mind blowing for me is that I didn't switch on my home desktop for the entire weekend. I didn't read my personal email messages. I didn't play around with Facebook. I didn't surf the net and read what's on Christianity Today or Oprah.com.

Joyful in hope?

2009-09-24T21:37:00.002+08:00

I sat in a crowded train, trying my best not to cry. I was listening to Christian worship songs on my MP3 player, hoping that it would dull the pain and make it bearable. As I kept the volume at a reasonable level, I could still hear the buzz of conversation amongst the other commuters. It was stuffy and more than once, my foot was stepped on.I didn't want to sink deeper into self pity so I

What lenses are you using?

2009-09-23T12:57:00.005+08:00

It's been emotionally chaotic these past two days. I had taken two days off work and since Mum is with us, it was the perfect timing to have some mother daughter quality time. That's not the cause of the chaos, of course! We had a nice time out yesterday, shopping and afternoon facials at the spa.However, when I came home, I checked my work email messages. I know I shouldn't have done so since I

An unexpected gem

2009-09-11T12:25:00.006+08:00

For those of you who know my DH, the first thing that will strike you is that he is a soft spoken man. You wouldn't expect him to give you a slap on your back and laugh boisterously. He doesn't crave the limelight and is perfectly happy doing things behind the scene.This story made me see him in a different light. Whoever wrote that you can always learn something new about your spouse is dead

Love and Marriage

2009-09-07T16:40:00.001+08:00

This tune popped up unexpectedly in my head as I was reading my work email messages. It's an old song sung by Frank Sinatra titled Love and Marriage. The first few lines are as follows:Love and marriage, love and marriageThey go together like a horse and carriageThis I tell you brotherYou can't have one without the other Things seemed much simpler in that era or it could just be our perception of

Hope that red turns green!

2009-09-02T10:28:00.002+08:00

It's hard when you come crashing down to reality, especially when you have been quietly but excitedly hoping that the change you have been longing for, is finally within your grasp. I have spent the last 2 weeks or so day-dreaming about taking a sabbatical from work. I had pictured my new daily routine and lived it in my head. Waking up and not have to rush around like a mad hatter to get Osh Osh

My life is a movie!

2009-08-28T12:12:00.006+08:00

Now that I have gotten everyone excited, let me elaborate!No, I've not been asked by some famous Hollywood director and producer to allow them to film my life and sell it as a blockbuster. I wish that were true but right now, this is as good as it gets.I came across a movie trailer on Yahoo titled Motherhood. It's directed by Katherine Dieckmann and the stars are Uma Thurman and Anthony Edwards (

Self made misery?

2009-08-25T15:01:00.001+08:00

It is admirable when one has the determination to go through all forms of obstacles and remain focussed to meet one's desired goal. That is all well and good when your ultimate goal is for something meaningful and beneficial either to yourself or those around you. What if you are so determined to make everyone's lives miserable because you feel justified in doing so? You strongly feel that the

The Insane Parent

2009-08-21T22:00:00.010+08:00

I must really love Osh Osh! Otherwise, why would I spend 2 1/2 hours in a small confined place filled with other equally insane parents, trying to grab hold of as many Lego boxes as they can carry, nudging, jostling and pushing each other just to move an inch each time?Where was I? I was at the latest Toys R Us Lego Stock Clearance sale. This was my first time attending one of them. I was told

Legislate sex?

2009-08-20T15:02:00.001+08:00

DH and I had an amusing conversation last night. We were about to turn in for the night when DH told me about an article which he recently read on Yahoo news. Legislation was passed in Afghanistan to allow the Shia men, an Islamic sect, to deny food and sustenance to their wives if they refuse to meet their husbands' sexual demands. I couldn't find the Yahoo news link but instead found this

Be grateful!

2009-08-17T11:56:00.002+08:00

It's really hard to change one's frame of mind especially when one's current frame of mind is so familiar and comfortable. It's so comfortable that I can snuggle into it effortlessly and am happy to dwell there for as long as time will permit, even if it is detrimental to me. I've always been a worrier by nature. I worry about anything and everything. As a logical consequence, a worrier also

Fickle!

2009-08-13T15:40:00.002+08:00

I can be so fickle, especially in terms of letting my feelings take control of my reactions to circumstances. A mature person would take stock of what they are feeling at that particular moment and make a conscious effort to either act according to the feeling, if it is warranted, or refuse to let the feeling, no matter how strong, overpower all sense of rationality.Here's an example of how

Too much?

2009-08-05T10:28:00.002+08:00

Am I revealing too much? What do you think? Are my posts too honest? I received a letter from a dear old friend in England yesterday. She wrote from the heart and I know that her intentions are good as she is very concerned about me. She shared that my posts are too personal and the things I have been writing about are best reserved for a heart to heart personal conversation with a close personal

Happy Family

2009-08-04T11:10:00.002+08:00

It's funny how mixed up a mother's feelings can be. When your child acts like a baby, you want him to grow up and behave like an adult. When your child decides to act like an adult, you feel sad and blubber, "My baby is growing up so fast!"Osh Osh has been behaving very well lately. Last night, when DH was not home due to night duties, Osh Osh was very considerate. He helped me with chores such

The Ugly Side of Motherhood

2009-07-30T07:45:00.004+08:00

I'm coping with the ugly side of motherhood by trying to smother it with a huge quarter chunk of sinful chocolate cake for breakfast! Now, you know why I can't seem to lose any weight!Osh Osh wet his bed this morning. He didn't want to wear a diaper last night due to the praises he received from his teachers at school yesterday for not wetting his mattress during afternoon nap. I tried my best to

Mid Year Review

2009-07-28T15:05:00.004+08:00

I have just finished writing my performance contract for my mid year appraisal. It's like a self promotion marketing piece to provide my manager with sufficient information to appraise my work performance for the first half of this year. I'm really not good at this. I'm not good at blowing my own trumpet and "selling" my achievements. I worked hard this year but for the corporate management, it's

Down and out

2009-07-27T18:28:00.004+08:00

I'm definitely down and out! Please do not read this post on a full stomach as it's not going to be pretty.I am down with food poisoning since Saturday morning. I haven't got a clue which food caused it because DH and Osh Osh had the same things I did and they are fine. It's one of those fluky mishaps that you can't explain. One that made me think that someone out there is playing a bad joke on

It's all in the touch

2009-07-24T10:39:00.005+08:00

I believe that most of us are tactile people, of course, some more than others. Babies first learn that they are loved from the touch of their parents. Adolescent boys show their connection to each other by punching each other on the shoulders or slapping their backs. Come to think of it, adult males do that too especially after a few drinks and watching their favourite football team win!It's

While I'm Waiting...

2009-07-11T10:11:00.003+08:00

I have nothing planned for this Saturday morning and I'm amazingly happy! DH is not home today as he's working today. Osh Osh is sitting beside me, watching his cartoons on tv. Osh Osh and I both had our morning beverage boosters - him, his milk and me, my thick milky coffee and our lunch is cooking in the crock pot. The laundry was done last night and our home is clean. I feel at peace. There is

What matters in life?

2009-07-06T16:52:00.002+08:00

It's the simple things in life that matter. I don't mean to sound cliché. This was what DH said to me last night when we were out for dinner. We went to a small hawker centre for a simple meal. It was a nice cool evening. Osh Osh was in a very good mood because he had a nice long nap earlier in the afternoon and had the chance to play with Daddy before we left the house.As we were about to finish

Do I trust Him?

2009-06-30T14:26:00.001+08:00

Last week, a number of incidents happened that caused me to feel like I'm a tossed around little life raft in a raging sea in the middle of the nightmarish storm. The storm is starting to settle but the feeling of peace is not quite in my possession yet.Osh Osh was sick with a viral fever all of last week. His high stubborn fever would not go away. The fever only broke last Saturday morning after

It's all about timing!

2009-06-19T14:37:00.003+08:00

Agrh!!!On that note, you can guess I didn't have the right timing.What's the story?I received my writing tutor's comments on my third assignment yesterday. She thought it was a really good piece of work and definitely worthy of publication (her words, not mine). I was over the moon as new budding writers' egos are very fragile. They crave and yearn hungrily for compliments and are unduly harsh

Wholehearted

2009-06-14T09:48:00.006+08:00

DH and I celebrated our sixth year wedding anniversary last Friday. We checked ourselves into a local hotel by the river while my parents who are staying with us this week, looked after Osh Osh for us. This is indeed a luxury for us, having this rare opportunity to spend time together.It's been a good three days two nights stay. We prayed, studied the Bible, talked, went shopping, lazed around,

"No!"

2009-06-08T09:04:00.002+08:00

"No!" That's what God is telling us in reply to our prayers. He said "No" when DH and I prayed hard for him to pass his exams in London. He said "No" to our prayers of having a second child which we have been praying for since April 2008. He said "No" recently to our prayers of finding a better place to live. Our house hunting started last October but the intensity of our search picked up since

Empty womb

2009-05-29T18:14:00.004+08:00

I have been having bad menses cramps even since I hit puberty. It's something I'm used to. However, this month's pain was worse than usual and lasted longer than my usual first day symptom. It made me worried. I called my gynae on Tuesday to fix an appointment for a scan. She was kind enough to fit me into her busy schedule. The appointment was this afternoon at her clinic in a general hospital.

The "next thing"

2009-05-28T11:32:00.001+08:00

I've been hit again. It seems that every time I move forward in my walk with God or even make a small improvement to my attitude towards my life in general, something happens to pull me back down into that dark ugly pit of gloom.So, I am there now. It's not a pretty sight. The more I struggle to get out, the more I find the miry pit having a stronger, tighter grip on my sanity. What do I do? Stay

God spoke and my nonsense

2009-05-24T13:29:00.003+08:00

I know my title for this post doesn't make sense to you right now but bear with me. It's about two separate incidents which happened this weekend. On a first glimpse, they look completely unrelated but if you give it some thought, you would find the corelation there.First incident happened yesterday (Saturday) evening. DH and I attended our second cell group meeting at one of the cell member's

Mismatched expectations

2009-05-21T11:15:00.002+08:00

DH and I had an argument last night. This morning, when I was in the train to work, I reflected on the events which led to our argument. I believe the root cause of it was a case of mismatched expectations.I had to stay back in the office last night due to an overseas conference call. DH had brought Osh Osh home and my father in law came over to help. The call lasted longer than expected. I was

Are we all mask wearers?

2009-05-19T19:55:00.004+08:00

The short answer is "Yes!". You don't need to be a rocket scientist to answer this simple question. So, why am I writing about something that is so obvious? Well, it's because it struck close to home for me today.A few of my colleagues and I attended an all day personal development course organized by our Human Resources Department. The topic was "Delivering Extraordinary Outcomes during Times of

Mummy Monster

2009-05-11T09:42:00.001+08:00

I didn't start off on a good note on Mother's Day Sunday. We woke up late and were in a rush to get ready to go to church. Osh Osh tossed and turned in defiance when I tried to wake him up. When he finally awoke, he didn't want to change his clothes and kicked up a tantrum. I was stressed hence my temper was short. So I scolded him, "Why are you so lazy?!!"As you can imagine, tears followed,

The dust settles...

2009-05-06T12:04:00.002+08:00

…and the storm is now a quiet breeze. We were blessed with a long weekend given the Labour Day holiday on May 1. DH and I also took a day off on Monday, May 4 as it was his birthday. DH was finally able to relax and unwind. He could play freely with Osh Osh and not worry about his study time being taken away. I can see that he is "mentally and emotionally" with us now whereas before the

Just when you thought it's over...

2009-04-29T01:24:00.004+08:00

It's not!DH sat for the Singapore exams yesterday. This is the one that is equivalent to the exams he took last week in London. The results were released this afternoon. He passed!I was thrilled! I thought that with the results, DH would be happy. However, four years of continual studying, hard work and night shifts have taken its toil on DH. He wants to quit this job and change speciality. I was

Take a left turn into DISAPPOINTMENT

2009-04-26T12:42:00.005+08:00

DH's exams results were released on the college website last night. My heart broke when I couldn't find his name in the list. Both of us went through the list several times, from A to Z, hoping that somehow there was a mistake and his name was really in the list. It wasn't. We are feeling very disappointed. We prayed hard and so did our family and friends. Still, this is the result that God has

Crunch time!

2009-04-23T00:33:00.005+08:00

This is it! Crunch time for DH and for us as a family. DH left our friends' home in Feltham noon time today to sit for his exams in central London this afternoon. He's doing his practical now as I type this. He's been studying so hard for so long. I pray that he will succeed this time as the exams are taking so much out of him. I know I run the risk of sounding like a broken record but the truth

A completely different way of life

2009-04-17T05:18:00.007+08:00

We arrived in London safely two days ago. Osh Osh was remarkably well behaved during the thirteen hours flight and only cried as the plane made its descent due to the change in air pressure which caused his ears to ache. Thank God for in flight entertainment! Osh Osh must have watched the same episode of Ben 10 at least ten times!We stayed at our friends' home in Feltham which is not far from the

Busybugz has been busy!

2009-04-13T10:58:00.003+08:00

Busybugz has indeed been busy which is why she has not posted any new blog posts lately. We're all packed, more or less, for the trip. I'm excited, anxious and hopeful all at the same time. I'm praying hard that DH will pass his exams this time. He's been working so hard and I can see how drained and tired he is. Osh Osh is excited. He keeps asking me what we're going to do when we get there.

Fish out of water?

2009-04-03T09:51:00.005+08:00

I did something a few nights ago that I wouldn't normally do. No, it's nothing raunchy or illicit! I joined an online writers' community two months ago. They hold meetings every month for their members to meet up and exchange ideas on writing. I missed February's meeting as I felt too inadequate. I didn't feel I was worthy enough as a writer then.I drew courage from having that good assessment

Thoughts on marriage

2009-03-27T12:43:00.003+08:00

Pre-marital counsellors should always advise on the forefront that when your spouse hurts you, it is THE most painful thing that you will ever experience, apart from childbirth, of course! Then again, since couples who are about to wed are often so madly in love with each other, they have wide angled blind spots and would probably regard the counsellor as being neurotic! They would say, "Who

Yippee!

2009-03-25T09:53:00.002+08:00

I have a new leash of life! I have been waiting anxiously for the assessment of my first writing assignment which I handed in a week and a half ago. When I checked my email messages this morning, I was thrilled to see it waiting in my inbox. My tutor is a writer herself and she used to teach English at the University of Central Lancashire in England. Now, she owns her own publishing company.She

Sadness

2009-03-19T15:47:00.007+08:00

I only have time to write when I am sick? That's not good, is it? Which part, you ask? Being sick so often or not being able to find time to write? Both! I have so many thoughts in my head all the time on things to write about but am unable to pen them down. Last night, I told DH that I wanted to write an article about toe nails! I know it's a flippant idea but who knows what it might lead to? To

Jitters!

2009-03-13T15:33:00.003+08:00

I know, I know... I don't write for weeks and now, I am posting another blog post! What has gotten into me?? This is a short one. I'm on a writing overdrive today. I blogged earlier, replied some personal email messages and here's the biggie! I completed my first assignment for my writers' course and sent the articles to my tutors. Boy, am I nervous! What would they say? Would they be kind? Would

Normalcy

2009-03-13T08:06:00.013+08:00

Things are back to normalcy for us. What does that mean to us? We revert to our delicate dance and juggling act of balancing work and family activities in our lives. My Mum left for home yesterday morning. My Mum and DH left the house earlier than DH's usual hours as her train was due to depart from the station at 740am. When Osh Osh woke up, he automatically looked for his Poh Poh (that's what

A night at the Accident and Emergency!

2009-03-02T13:06:00.011+08:00

I had a freakish accident yesterday evening. One of those that you would laugh about if it was shown on America's Funniest Home Videos or YouTube. However, we didn't film it and when it happened to me, it was no laughing matter!It was raining heavily yesterday evening. The rain water was splashing hard into our balcony. Osh Osh was concerned about his plant which was somewhere in the middle of

Anguish

2009-02-25T07:57:00.003+08:00

I started spotting this morning. Once this happens, it's without a doubt that I will have my period in a few days time. I'm not pregnant again. I tell myself, "It's ok. There's always hope for better news next month." As some of you know, we've been trying to conceive a second child for over a year now. Some months, I cope better. Some months, I'm a wreck. Today, I was filled with sadness, as

Two green leaves

2009-02-23T22:12:00.008+08:00

I got excited over 2 green leaves today. As I wrote in my last post, Osh Osh had a field trip to a garden/farm-like place last Friday. Each child was given a small pot with soil in it to take home. Osh Osh told me that he had personally planted some sunflower seeds in it.Osh Osh has been diligently watering the pot every morning after waking up. He's also very confident that the seeds he planted

A 34 hour day?

2009-02-22T21:43:00.012+08:00

I often wondered if life would be easier if we had more hours to our day. Maybe a 34 hour day would cure all the ills of our modern life. Ten extra hours to do all the things we never have the time for or to rest and rejuvenate ourselves. We would be more relaxed when we are with our spouse and children as we're not watching the clock, thinking of the next thing we have to do. We would have more

The challenge - being kind!

2009-02-16T12:17:00.003+08:00

Kindness - we all like to think we're kind people. No one really wants to admit that we are selfish in nature. Lately, I've been feeling that I'm not living in a very kind environment. The people in this country are just downright rude and aggressively defending their own interests to the detriment of others. DH said that this category of people is a large minority of the citizens in this country

Letting go and starting a new adventure

2009-02-12T11:59:00.002+08:00

The decision to let go of something that's been with you for a long time (in this instance, 5 years) is never an easy one to make. You started the relationship, developed and nurtured it to its optimal potential and then painfully watch it deteriorate despite your efforts of keeping it alive. It breaks your heart to the point that you have to get a firm grip of yourself and say enough is enough.

The Year of the Ox

2009-02-01T10:46:00.008+08:00

It's that time of the year again...Happy Chinese New Year to everyone who celebrates it! The zodiac animal for this Chinese New Year is the Year of the Ox - my year. The Ox is known for its hard working nature and its resilience towards hardship - sounds apt for the current times. Although I don't really subscribe to the Chinese horoscope, I've read (and have been informed by friends and

The spot marked "X"

2009-01-18T22:45:00.002+08:00

It was evening, around 7pm and all three of us were sitting in the living room, watching a Disney cartoon, The Lady and The Tramp on DVD. DH looked out of the window and saw this interesting cloud formation. It looked like a big “X”.At first, we thought it was a natural creation as we didn’t hear any planes fly overhead. However, as you can see in the last photo at the bottom, there is a small

Self promotion

2009-01-14T14:18:00.007+08:00

I've just finished drafting my personal assessment of my work performance for 2008. It's an annual year end appraisal exercise. I will need to send my personal appraisal to my manager, have a conversation with her and then she will take it to the management with a grade for my performance. This grade will determine how big/small a bonus I am entitled to! So, it's essential I "win" her over in

Shared visions

2009-01-07T16:34:00.002+08:00

It's been draining for me these past two days. I'm feeling under the weather but have to drag myself in to work. DH and I inevitably got into a big fight with each other on Monday night and it hit me really hard. I was hoping that we wouldn't go back to our old ways of fighting so often, it being the new year and all. Every time we fight, the old hurts, anger, resentment and frustrations

A pensive start to the New Year

2009-01-01T09:37:00.004+08:00

I had started my New Year's eve feeling excited, thinking that DH was off and we could have a nice family day on New Year's Day. However, later yesterday evening, when DH received his duty roster, we discovered that he was on shift duty the whole of today. I was very disappointed and nearly cried. It's nothing new with DH having to work on public holidays and weekends but somehow, having him work

Christmas memories

2008-12-24T10:33:00.005+08:00

I write this while trying to complete my office work for today. I would hate to have to carry on working all the way till this evening! It's been a different kind of Christmas eve this year. One that's been quite stressful for me on the work front. It wasn't like that last year. I could take time off work and it was very quiet.Nevertheless, I don't want my spirits dampened (a tough feat and it's

Regret

2008-12-22T14:33:00.002+08:00

Yes, I'm back from my break to visit my parents. Right now, I'm in the office catching up on my own work and also covering my colleague's work. She'll be away this entire week so I'm pretty swamped. Luckily, it's the Christmas season so the workload is not as heavy as on normal days. However, trying to bring myself up to speed on my own work and looking after hers has left me quite exhausted and

Ten arms!

2008-12-09T23:18:00.004+08:00

A few mornings ago, on our way out to the car, Osh Osh was asking me to carry two of his Transformers toys, his school bag and him! I said to him, "Do you think I'm Four Arms?" Four Arms is one of his favourite Ben 10 characters which he absolutely adores, and yes, this character has surprise, surprise, four arms!He grinned cheekily and replied, "No, you have Ten Arms!" I just laughed. He's so

A Day of Communion

2008-12-07T21:09:00.004+08:00

We have been trying out a new church for the past two weeks. We've not been attending church services for quite some time now. I guess we let DH's work and study schedule, my busyness with Osh Osh and certain personal issues, mainly anger, disappointment and rejection, get in the way of us attending church.However, God didn't let us "off the hook" so easily. He's been prompting both DH and myself

A happy moment

2008-12-05T08:45:00.007+08:00

It's been another tough working week for me with a late night on Wednesday (due to work) and also a long meeting yesterday. I've not been spending much time with Osh Osh in the evenings this week. On Wednesday, when I arrived home, Osh Osh was already asleep and all I could do was just look at him in bed. Part of me wanted to wake him up so that I could talk to him but that's just very selfish of

Something's got to give

2008-11-28T15:36:00.004+08:00

I just came out of Osh Osh's room. Sat there for a while, watching him sleep. I had to hold back my tears. It's been a stressful 2 days for me. Work has been particularly demanding and my superiors have been doubting my judgment calls which makes it a very difficult environment to work in. Osh Osh's school is closed for 2 days due to their annual spring cleaning so he's at home with me while I

Busy Bumblebee

2008-11-25T15:48:00.003+08:00

I've been busy as a bee today…a bumblebee to be exact!What's the story? Well, Osh Osh has a list of the toys he wants for Christmas. Yes, a list at his age! As you know, he loves Ben 10. One of his favourite Ben 10 alien is Four Arms (a big red guy with yes, you guessed it…4 arms!) and he wants the action figurine of it. He also wants Power Rangers. I don't know why and I don't like them.He

Capterpillar and Christmas Tree

2008-11-23T11:02:00.007+08:00

This weekend is an eventful one. Yesterday, we took Osh Osh to his very first children's play, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Other Eric Carle Favourites. It's a puppet show by Mermaid Theatre of Nova Scotia, Canada. The puppets are painted in bright colours and against the "black" light, they glow in the dark. Very colourful and entertaining and all the kids who were there loved it. You could

Mummy's blown away!

2008-11-21T15:56:00.007+08:00

Today is a big day for all of us! Osh Osh is performing on stage for the first time in his life. As I mentioned in my earlier posts, he was very secretive about what he will be doing even until last night. I was anxious, nervous and excited for him. I kept thinking to myself, "Will he get stage fright? Will he cry? Will he fall down?", etc...yes, this Mummy is a professional worrier!So, yes, I

The "heal all ills" bath

2008-11-18T22:56:00.008+08:00

What is the cure for all ills? I believe I have found the secret! A nice long hot relaxing soak in the bath tub! I know what you're thinking...I've lost my marbles. How can a bath cure all ills? Bear with me as I explain.I had a very tough 2 days. Work: I've been cooped up in a meeting room all of Monday and today with an entourage of high level top management team from London. It's been

Making amends

2008-11-16T11:59:00.009+08:00

We went grocery shopping this morning. DH wanted me to cook some noodle soup for lunch and I wanted to have breakfast outside for a change. Osh Osh didn't want to go out as he rather stay home to play with his toys and watch tv but of course, we couldn't let him stay home alone.Anyway, off we went. DH bought a nice breakfast meal for Osh Osh in return for his word that he will behave well when we

A much needed reprieve

2008-11-14T08:01:00.010+08:00

A much needed reprieve just doesn't seem to be coming for me! I hate not having time to do my own things which includes blogging. Now, it seems at best, I am only able to blog once a week, on Fridays when I work from home. Sigh.Some updates on what's been happening with us:DH: He's still on the mend from his flu (and I think I caught it from him too as have been sniffling a lot over the past few

It's ok, Mummy, it's ok

2008-11-07T16:53:00.004+08:00

I can't stay angry at Osh Osh for long. I'm not writing this because he made me angry recently. It's just that while I was doing my work today, I heard his voice in my head and it made me smile. A sense of contentment filled me.So, what did I hear? Well, it relates back to something he did a month or two ago. I was tired after a long day at work. I wanted to get dinner ready and Osh Osh was

Perception

2008-11-06T10:59:00.002+08:00

Perception : 1. the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.2 the process of perceiving.3 a way of understanding or interpreting something.4 intuitive understanding and insight.I extracted the above defintion from the Oxford Dictionary. Why am I emphasizing this word? Due to a series of communications and meetings at work, I've been perceived in a way that has been

Adventures with friends

2008-11-04T22:26:00.006+08:00

This is a light hearted post which I believe is the preferred mode. Osh Osh is really into role playing and story telling lately. He has 3 very good friends now and they are: Alex the Lion (from Madagascar), a little robot he calls Transformer and Spiderman. I got Alex from MacDonalds yesterday. They are giving away these Madagascar toys as part of the Happy Meal to promote the sequel to

What happens next?

2008-10-31T08:43:00.003+08:00

DH and I did not fight and I know many of you were concerned that I would beat the living daylights out of him. I didn't.I didn't go the airport and when he arrived home, I was tucking Osh Osh in to bed. DH asked why I was cold towards him and I told him I will explain later as I wanted to get Osh Osh to sleep first. His parents didn't tell him what I told them (I had spoken to them earlier

Unspeakable anger

2008-10-30T18:41:00.004+08:00

That is exactly what I am feeling right now. DH's friends sent text messages to say that DH failed. Most of them passed. My unspeakable anger is not towards God. It's towards DH. I feel that he brought this onto himself when he couldn't get a taxi to the exam venue on his first day and ended up all flustered when he got there. He had studied so hard and I just feel that this failure is just such

In limbo!

2008-10-30T10:51:00.006+08:00

It's about 9 hours more before DH is home. It's been such a stressful week for all of us. As most of you know, I've been sending out prayer requests for him and yes, I'm behaving as though I'm the one sitting for the exams! Thank you all for standing beside me on this, being united in prayer and "holding" my hand (even though some of you are miles away), telling me, stay calm, stay calm...breathe

Anxious

2008-10-27T19:48:00.005+08:00

I don't feel like writing much. DH is in Hong Kong now and tomorrow's the first day of his exams. I'll be at work at that time (9.45am) and yes, although it's not me sitting for the exams, I can feel his stress and his anxiety! I've not spoken to him yet and will call him later tonight. There's so much riding on this exam for him and well, in an indirect way, for us as well. Once he passes,

The sweetest voice

2008-10-22T21:01:00.010+08:00

I rarely get the chance to hear Osh Osh's voice on the phone as I'm always with him and it's usually his Daddy or his grandparents who call him.Today was my turn! It's such a rarity and such a treat! My Mum's here to help me out while DH leaves for Hong Kong for his exams this Sunday and he will be away for about a week. So, on my way out of the office, I called home to see if everything is ok.

Clumsy feet dance

2008-10-18T20:15:00.009+08:00

This morning was a bit of a rush. Although it's a Saturday, DH has to attend an all day tutorial for his coming exams. I was trying to meet Osh Osh's needs and fix breakfast (trust me, he has a lot of demands when he wakes up) while DH was busy sorting out documents before he left. Amidst our busyness, I decided to give him a longer hug than usual in the kitchen. Somehow, we started to sway while

Something's not quite right

2008-10-15T11:41:00.007+08:00

I'm sick again! I seem to be falling ill every month! What gives?? There's definitely something not quite right with me. I had my gynae appointment yesterday morning (the usual annual routine check up) and she said all was fine with me. I told her that I've been having problems trying to conceive a second child and she said not to worry. I wanted to have some tests done to see if I'm infertile.

Moving up!

2008-10-12T21:10:00.009+08:00

Osh Osh sleeps in his own room down the corridor from ours. However, all this time, he's been sleeping on a mattress on the floor as we thought he wasn't ready for his own bed yet. We also thought that with him rolling about so much in his sleep, he'll probably injure himself by falling off a bed. Lately, Osh Osh has been asking to sleep on a bed. We took him seriously and decided to give him a

Recession and regression

2008-10-10T10:18:00.003+08:00

I'm not having a good morning today. Osh Osh was in a difficult, "I refuse to cooperate with you" type of mood from the moment he woke up until he got to school. I asked him to brush his teeth and get dressed and he refused to budge! He insisted on wearing his "sleeping clothes" (that's what he calls his pajamas) and curled up like a ball and covered his face with his hands so that I couldn't get

Scared silly!

2008-10-05T10:11:00.008+08:00

Osh Osh was very well behaved all of yesterday which made it a very happy and relaxing Saturday for me. He even cooperated patiently when I cut his hair yesterday evening. He kept still for what would be a very long time for a preschooler. I normally have to rush when I cut his hair as he can't stay still. However, this time, I could take it slow and do a nicer job.He asked me to comb it like how

Gifts and goodies!

2008-09-30T21:00:00.010+08:00

DH is home! :) I took half day leave off work today to be at the airport to meet him. My very excited father in law (FIL) was there too. When I saw DH walking towards the arrival gate, I told my FIL that there he is. However, FIL was probably too filled with emotion to spot him until DH was face to face with him!It was so good to give DH a nice long hug after 8 long days of being apart. DH looked

Blowing "trouble bubbles" away

2008-09-27T20:43:00.008+08:00

After my post on disappointment yesterday, I received a few concerned email messages from friends asking me how I am and if I needed a listening ear. A very good friend of mine who is on her way overseas to start a new life, sent me an email at 12 midnight, during her transit at one of the airports, just to encourage me. I am so touched!I also received a long distance phone call from an old

Coping with disappointment

2008-09-26T18:47:00.005+08:00

We all face disappointments in life. Some deal with it better than others and some just fall apart. I'm usually the latter, unfortunately. I just experienced something very disappointing an hour ago. It's happened to me before and I didn't cope with it that well then. This time round,well, although I'm feeling very low about it, I'm keeping myself busy and trying my best not to dwell on negative

Conversation with Daddy

2008-09-24T21:09:00.007+08:00

I finally managed to speak to DH today. I called him during his lunch break when it was night time over here. Osh Osh was getting ready for bed. I switched on the speaker phone to enable Osh Osh to talk to his Daddy.He was quite shy. First he said, "Hello Daddy" with a big smile. Then he looked at me and shrugged and said "Don't know what to say".Then after some coaxing, he said "How are you,

Feeling lonely

2008-09-24T10:10:00.003+08:00

It's not the same without DH around. We haven't been able to talk on the phone due to the time difference between here and where he's at. When I'm awake, he's sleeping and vice versa. However, we have been sending each other text messages so I know he is ok. His revision course is quite intensive as they are whole day sessions going on for a week, weekends included.Osh Osh doesn't seem to miss

It's still very hard to say...

2008-09-21T23:41:00.004+08:00

...Goodbye to DH.It's not that we've not been separated before. The early years of our relationship was a long distance one, with him at one end of the globe and me on the other. One would think that I would have gotten the hang of it by now and saying goodbye to him would be a piece of cake.I wonder how the wives of busy travelling husbands do it? How they keep up a brave front and hold the fort

A very fast flight

2008-09-20T21:40:00.010+08:00

Today's definitely a good day! Well, it was definitely more restful and peaceful than this entire week.I was checking my work email on and off throughout today and I only received 4 email messages (as opposed to the hundreds I received daily over the week) so it IS a definite improvement! :)DH had to work today but I took Osh Osh to his workplace so we could all have lunch together. It was quite

An extremely difficult week

2008-09-19T08:30:00.013+08:00

As everyone knows by now (because it is such an "in your face" thing with it being splashed over the newspapers, tv, conversations with your family and friends), we are in very uncertain times now with the state of the US and world economy.The Lehman Brothers incident affected me directly. When I went in to work on Monday, it was chaos. The company I work for is not an investment bank but we have

A little bucket of joy

2008-09-13T16:43:00.005+08:00

I missed blogging! :) The past few days have been manic at work and I'm still not fully recovered yet! The worst of the flu is over but I have a nagging stubborn cough which makes my throat sore. Sigh.Anyway, on to my musings about a little bucket of joy. A few days ago, DH brought home a small empty bucket of M&Ms. His colleague had bought it as a treat for everyone at his workplace. The empty