Mummy Monster

I didn't start off on a good note on Mother's Day Sunday. We woke up late and were in a rush to get ready to go to church. Osh Osh tossed and turned in defiance when I tried to wake him up. When he finally awoke, he didn't want to change his clothes and kicked up a tantrum. I was stressed hence my temper was short. So I scolded him, "Why are you so lazy?!!"

As you can imagine, tears followed, voices got louder and blood pressures rose. We rushed through breakfast amidst sniffles and "I don't like you!" and by the grace of God, we all got into the car without killing each other!

I know a lot of you would be able to identify with this story as I'm sure each of you experienced this at some point. I must admit that it was due to poor time management and preparation on my part. If we had woken up earlier, we would have been more relaxed. It would have been a peaceful start to the day and not a family battlezone with the exchange of "harsh words" missiles which could not be retracted once launched.

Osh Osh was scheduled to start his first Sunday School class yesterday. Naturally, he was anxious and shy. Part of DH's Mother's Day present to me was to take Osh Osh to the class by himself and allow me to attend the main church service. That way, I get a break from Osh Osh. When I was sitting in the pew, praying, I was filled with guilt about how I treated Osh Osh in the morning. I did not exhibit the attributes of a loving, nurturing and patient mother. I was a "Mummy Monster"!

About midway through the worship session, the pastor asked all the mothers, grandmothers and mothers-to-be to stand and be prayed for. I stood, still feeling heavy-hearted. He prayed a prayer of gratitude, of wisdom and of vision. One of the things that he said which struck and stayed with me is that the love of a mother is the closest thing to the love of God. I thought to myself, "I definitely did not love Osh Osh this morning as how God loves me."

After the service ended, I went to the classroom where DH and Osh Osh were. When Osh Osh saw me at the doorway, he beamed from ear to ear. He had a rose in one hand and a card which he made in the other. He came to me and hugged my legs before I could kneel down to his level. He looked up at me and said, "I love you, Mummy. Happy Mother's Day!". I looked at his card. DH has written "Happy Mother's Day" and "I love you, Mummy" and signed his name. Osh Osh drew stick figures in the card, of various features and colours. He explained to me who each stick figure represented: there was Daddy, Mummy and Osh Osh himself together with his favourite Ben 10 and Ben 10 Alien Force characters, Four Arms and Humongosaur. What a privilege it is for me to share the ranks of those that he holds dear!

Seriously, I was very touched. What did I do to deserve such love? I consciously gave him more hugs and kisses for the rest of the day and we laughed and played together. Of course, there were still several episodes of temper tantrums including one before bed time. Such is life. It is not perfect. An important lesson I learnt yesterday is that Osh Osh is not mine. God gave Osh Osh to me, to care for him, to nurture and guide him in the right path to be a godly man. Along the way, I will falter and make mistakes which will be forgiven. I pray that no matter what tests and trials lie ahead for Osh Osh and us as his parents, he will always be able to look at us and say, "I love you, Mummy, Daddy. You're my favourite!"

PS. The other part of DH's Mother's Day present to me was a bar of sinful dark chocolate which is so sinful that I dare not unveil it yet!

The dust settles...

…and the storm is now a quiet breeze.

We were blessed with a long weekend given the Labour Day holiday on May 1. DH and I also took a day off on Monday, May 4 as it was his birthday. DH was finally able to relax and unwind. He could play freely with Osh Osh and not worry about his study time being taken away. I can see that he is "mentally and emotionally" with us now whereas before the conclusion of his exams, there were times when he was physically with us but his thoughts were on his books and exams.

As DH observed and shared with me, "So, this is what a typical family does on a long weekend. It feels strange to me. I bet these activities are taken for granted by many families." DH also admitted that he is still very tense about a lot of things at work and it will take some time before he feels that he is "normal" again.

Over the weekend, we:

1) took Osh Osh to the beach where he made volcano sandcastles and kicked football with us.

2) had the luxury of long afternoon naps.

3) went on a movie date - DH enjoyed a good action movie and I got to see Hugh Jackman's butt! What more can a couple ask for? ;)

4) enjoyed a sumptious dinner in a four star hotel in pre celebratory spirit for DH's birthday and Mother's Day for my mother in law and myself.

5) went house hunting which made Osh Osh excited. He chatted happily with the real estate agent, informing her which room he wanted for his new room. We didn't buy, of course, as it was beyond our budget.

6) allowed Osh Osh to decide where he wanted to have dinner and it's no surprise we ended up at MacDonalds!

7) went window shopping on a weekday.

8) chilled out in Starbucks over two cups of java.

9) talked intimately about anything and everything, read the Bible together and prayed.

10) had great sex! Something we have not experienced in a long time!

DH is still continuing in his current role and has been promoted after the passing of his exams. He will stay in this role for at least six months to get a feel of it and prayerfully decide which road to take next. I believe we are slowly getting our act together, as children of God and of our parents, as individuals, as a married couple and as parents. There is a lot of work that needs to be done in all of these areas of our lives but I know in my heart, that this time, the road will not be so lonely or treacherous as we are not relying on our own strength anymore.