An unexpected gem

For those of you who know my DH, the first thing that will strike you is that he is a soft spoken man. You wouldn't expect him to give you a slap on your back and laugh boisterously. He doesn't crave the limelight and is perfectly happy doing things behind the scene.

This story made me see him in a different light. Whoever wrote that you can always learn something new about your spouse is dead right!

I was very anxious for him yesterday. He had told me that as part of his occupational training this month, he needed to be in a chamber filled with tear gas (yes, the type of tear gas that is used to deter protesters and rioters!) in order to learn the skills of putting on the requisite protective gear within a very short frame of time.

I asked him if he can opt out. "Give some excuse - say you're not feeling well!" I suggested. DH said he would like to do this even though he was apprehensive because it would be a good experience. I don't know if it was a guy thing as I personally wouldn't want to be locked in a small confined space with some noxious substance just for the experience. Then again, that's just me. For a memorable experience, give me a bubbled filled bath tub with nice smelling candles and soft music any day!

DH sent me a text message about mid morning informing me that "Eyes, nose and face stung but I'm fine. Not to worry." He also managed to squeeze in that same text message that he has something to tell me that I would be pleased with.

That caught my eye! What did he do? Random thoughts start going through my head. Did he do something brave? Did he help one of his fellow team mates? Did he put others before himself? What ??

Yes, you can see by now that I am not a very patient soul.

Later yesterday afternoon, he called. He told me that I had to wait until I was home before he would tell me. He said it was better for him to tell me face to face. I didn't want to kept in suspense until then because I had to work late last night. I pleaded with him to tell me. He said, "Suspense is good for you. You'll like it. Women like such things!"

What?? What is it that women like? I didn't get a lot of work done yesterday as my mind was preoccupied by that last statement DH said. He sounded so pleased and excited over the phone, that he has this little secret that would make me happy. I'm glad that he is happy but this mama cat was being killed slowly and painfully by her own curiosity!

I finally got home close to 9pm. My father in law was getting Osh Osh ready for bed. I thought DH would be in the room with them as he would always read Osh Osh a bedtime story while tucking him in. My father in law said DH was very tired and had gone to bed.

I irrationally felt disappointed. I had hoped DH would be up and waiting for me at the door, grinning from ear to ear. I went into our room. DH was already asleep. I moved closer to him and nudged him to wake up. Yes, I know, I can hear you saying, 'What are you thinking, woman? Let your husband sleep! Can't you see he is so tired after a long day?!!"

I know but I needed to know the secret. I waited all day for it and I should be rewarded for my patience. What patience, you ask? I did say I was irrational.

DH eventually opened his eyes and said that he had a bad headache. I asked him if it was the side effect of the tear gas. He said no and that it was probably because he was out in the sun for too long. I fussed over him, making sure he took some medicine for his headache and neck pain. He smiled and eventually told me what he did.

At the end of the exercise, the participants were asked to remove their protective mask and breathe in the tear gas. The instructor asked each of them to shout out their names and identifcation numbers. He jokingly added that they could also shout out the names of their wives or dogs, whichever they preferred. When it came to DH's turn, after saying his name and ID number, he went on to say, 'I love Busybugz because she is a wonderful wife and mother." This was greeted by thunderous applause from all those present.

I was dumbfounded. DH said that in public, before a group of men without any form of coercion from me? "Was it the effect of the gas?" I asked. What did the others say? Did anyone laugh? Why did you say that? Did anyone come up to you and say anything later?" I showered him with numerous questions! Typical of a woman, wouldn't you say?

DH was too tired and just smiled again before lying down on the bed and closing his eyes. I wanted answers! Still, I couldn't get angry at him. He was right. It was something that a woman would like. A public declaration of love, freely given and free from any expectations of reward in return. I was still asking myself, "Was it the gas? Why did he do it?"

What was I thinking? Why did I have to ask so many questions? DH loves me. That's why he did it. He knew I would like it. He was not ashamed of his public declaration of love for me simply because it's the truth. He loves me. To him, I am his wonderful wife. He also believes that I am a wonderful mother to Osh Osh. Why did I find that so hard for me to accept?

Maybe I should stop questioning everything and just accept the gems I am blessed with...like this unexpected gem of love that DH has given to me.

Little Big Dreams

I was watching a documentary on tv tonight titled Little Big Dreams. Osh Osh had just finished watching his Winnie the Pooh DVD. I decided to channel-surf to see if there was any interesting Olympics highlights on. There were none but instead there was this documentary filmed in China following the lives of 4 young children who have been sent to a boarding school to train as gymnasts.

Their parents sent these children there with the hope that their son or daughter will be the next Olympic champion. All their hopes are on this elusive dream but the brutal truth is that only a few will ever make it that far.

The documentary showed that the coaches were very harsh on the kids. One of their methods of encouragement is to cane them if they fail to do the right moves or land steadily on both feet after they complete their dismount off the vaults. The kids, who are eager to please their parents and the coaches, start these rigorous relentless training at the age of 3.

One of the coaches who were interviewed said that they are not torturing the children. It's just that they need to be tough on them in order to make these children Olympic champions.

Three scenes got to me and made me cry.

The first was when a mother had to leave her 5 year old daughter after a 2 day visit at the school. She would not see her daughter again until another 6 months. The girl was very brave and started to walk away from the mother in the courtyard. Then she turned back and saw her mother still standing there. She couldn't compose herself anymore and ran towards her mother, asking her to take her home. The mother made her walk back to the school. She had to, because they had spent a lot of money to put her there and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

The second scene was when this 9 year old boy, who hasn't been doing very well in his training and was often scolded and beaten by his coach, had a reunion with his parents about 2 weeks before the provincial gymnastics championship. He didn't want to go back to the school but again, his parents could not let him quit. One of the teachers carried him away from his family, kicking and screaming!

The third scene which really moved me was about another 9 year old boy in the school. They filmed him in his dormitory. He was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said, "A professor". The second question was whether he enjoyed gymnastics. He looked very sad and kept quiet for what might have seemed like an eternity. Then he said softly, "No" and it looked as though he tried very hard not to cry.

I know all parents want what is best for their child but would you actually put your child through this, for the sake of an Olympic gold medal?

You can guess my answer, as I gave Osh Osh more hugs and kisses tonight before he slept.