I did a very brave thing. I didn't bring my work laptop home this weekend. I can't remember the last time I didn't have it with me over the weekend. What's more mind blowing for me is that I didn't switch on my home desktop for the entire weekend. I didn't read my personal email messages. I didn't play around with Facebook. I didn't surf the net and read what's on Christianity Today or Oprah.com. I didn't visit any of the Christian forums or writing websites. I was completely unwired and docked off! Amazing!
To most of you, you're thinking, "What's the big deal?"
However, if you have been following my blog, you would know that I have issues on maintaining a work life balance. I always bring work home with me. I log on at nights and weekends to tend to work requests from the other offices in different time zones. I seem to be working all the time. When I am not physically in front of my laptop, my mind is filled with anxiety about work. I am never fully mentally there when I am spending time with DH and Osh Osh.
It was hard for me this weekend not to think about work. It's like my recent attempt of giving up coffee which didn't go too well. I would feel that something important is missing and the day's not quite right until I have my cup of coffee. I would feel edgy, grumpy and restless. Sometimes, I would have headaches. I often joke with my colleagues that it's like a cocaine addict having the shakes!
So, what took the place of my online time this weekend? I had good quality time with Osh Osh as I wasn't preoccupied with work. I didn’t use my normal phrase of "Not now, Mummy has to work" with him throughout the entire weekend. DH and I spent more time praying together and reading His word. All of us had a luxuriously long afternoon nap yesterday. We went for evening walks. Osh Osh was happy. I felt that I was more "there" with DH and Osh Osh. Yes, admittedly, there were times during the weekend that my mind strayed and wandered to work but I told myself that work can wait till Monday. I consciously brought my mind back to the present moment. When Osh Osh was happily playing and explaining to me what he was doing, I listened attentively, asked questions and played with him. DH and I laughed more this weekend. Yes, I was irritated with him about some minor issues but I explained my reasons for them. He in return, told me that he was irritated with me too. Nevertheless, we had time to talk about it and as a result, we understood each other better and our irritation with each other didn't escalate into a full blown fight.
Will I do this again this weekend? Yes, most definitely! I will however, have my laptop with me because I will be working from home on Friday. Nonetheless, come close of business day Friday, I will be officially offline. It's a small step but it's a step in the right direction!