Friday, September 11, 2009

An unexpected gem

For those of you who know my DH, the first thing that will strike you is that he is a soft spoken man. You wouldn't expect him to give you a slap on your back and laugh boisterously. He doesn't crave the limelight and is perfectly happy doing things behind the scene.

This story made me see him in a different light. Whoever wrote that you can always learn something new about your spouse is dead right!

I was very anxious for him yesterday. He had told me that as part of his occupational training this month, he needed to be in a chamber filled with tear gas (yes, the type of tear gas that is used to deter protesters and rioters!) in order to learn the skills of putting on the requisite protective gear within a very short frame of time.

I asked him if he can opt out. "Give some excuse - say you're not feeling well!" I suggested. DH said he would like to do this even though he was apprehensive because it would be a good experience. I don't know if it was a guy thing as I personally wouldn't want to be locked in a small confined space with some noxious substance just for the experience. Then again, that's just me. For a memorable experience, give me a bubbled filled bath tub with nice smelling candles and soft music any day!

DH sent me a text message about mid morning informing me that "Eyes, nose and face stung but I'm fine. Not to worry." He also managed to squeeze in that same text message that he has something to tell me that I would be pleased with.

That caught my eye! What did he do? Random thoughts start going through my head. Did he do something brave? Did he help one of his fellow team mates? Did he put others before himself? What ??

Yes, you can see by now that I am not a very patient soul.

Later yesterday afternoon, he called. He told me that I had to wait until I was home before he would tell me. He said it was better for him to tell me face to face. I didn't want to kept in suspense until then because I had to work late last night. I pleaded with him to tell me. He said, "Suspense is good for you. You'll like it. Women like such things!"

What?? What is it that women like? I didn't get a lot of work done yesterday as my mind was preoccupied by that last statement DH said. He sounded so pleased and excited over the phone, that he has this little secret that would make me happy. I'm glad that he is happy but this mama cat was being killed slowly and painfully by her own curiosity!

I finally got home close to 9pm. My father in law was getting Osh Osh ready for bed. I thought DH would be in the room with them as he would always read Osh Osh a bedtime story while tucking him in. My father in law said DH was very tired and had gone to bed.

I irrationally felt disappointed. I had hoped DH would be up and waiting for me at the door, grinning from ear to ear. I went into our room. DH was already asleep. I moved closer to him and nudged him to wake up. Yes, I know, I can hear you saying, 'What are you thinking, woman? Let your husband sleep! Can't you see he is so tired after a long day?!!"

I know but I needed to know the secret. I waited all day for it and I should be rewarded for my patience. What patience, you ask? I did say I was irrational.

DH eventually opened his eyes and said that he had a bad headache. I asked him if it was the side effect of the tear gas. He said no and that it was probably because he was out in the sun for too long. I fussed over him, making sure he took some medicine for his headache and neck pain. He smiled and eventually told me what he did.

At the end of the exercise, the participants were asked to remove their protective mask and breathe in the tear gas. The instructor asked each of them to shout out their names and identifcation numbers. He jokingly added that they could also shout out the names of their wives or dogs, whichever they preferred. When it came to DH's turn, after saying his name and ID number, he went on to say, 'I love Busybugz because she is a wonderful wife and mother." This was greeted by thunderous applause from all those present.

I was dumbfounded. DH said that in public, before a group of men without any form of coercion from me? "Was it the effect of the gas?" I asked. What did the others say? Did anyone laugh? Why did you say that? Did anyone come up to you and say anything later?" I showered him with numerous questions! Typical of a woman, wouldn't you say?

DH was too tired and just smiled again before lying down on the bed and closing his eyes. I wanted answers! Still, I couldn't get angry at him. He was right. It was something that a woman would like. A public declaration of love, freely given and free from any expectations of reward in return. I was still asking myself, "Was it the gas? Why did he do it?"

What was I thinking? Why did I have to ask so many questions? DH loves me. That's why he did it. He knew I would like it. He was not ashamed of his public declaration of love for me simply because it's the truth. He loves me. To him, I am his wonderful wife. He also believes that I am a wonderful mother to Osh Osh. Why did I find that so hard for me to accept?

Maybe I should stop questioning everything and just accept the gems I am blessed this unexpected gem of love that DH has given to me.


Serotinous Me said...

This made me smile. Three cheers for your DH! Hip hip hurray!

mummyof3 said...

aiyo! so romantic! don't look a gift horse in the mouth - just say, thank you and enjoy it! lol!