Thursday, April 23, 2009

Crunch time!

This is it! Crunch time for DH and for us as a family. DH left our friends' home in Feltham noon time today to sit for his exams in central London this afternoon. He's doing his practical now as I type this. He's been studying so hard for so long. I pray that he will succeed this time as the exams are taking so much out of him. I know I run the risk of sounding like a broken record but the truth is that these exams and all the preparation that he puts into it really drains him. As time is short for him, he has had to sacrifice his time with us for his revisions.

My friend took Osh Osh and I as well as another friend of ours to the Hounslow Urban Farm near her home. It was a very nice gesture from both of my friends to plan such a lovely day for Osh Osh. It was nice and sunny. Osh Osh had a lovely time feeding all the farm animals there. However, I felt detached from everything. My mind was with DH. I was worried for him despite having prayed. I felt that I'm just as stressed as he is and wished I could do more for him. So much is riding on him passing these exams. He can progress in his career and he can have more time for us. We can finally breathe a little easier as right now, I feel that both DH and I have been holding our breaths in anxiety. That's not how we want to carry on living our lives.
However, part of me is telling me that I'm giving too much importance to these exams in that I am making it sound like an insurmountable problem. Instead, I ought to focus on God as no problem is too big for Him. We can overcome if we trust in Him completely. It is difficult for both DH and myself to break free from the hold our past failures have on us.

One of the lessons I have learnt during this trip is that God has indeed carved our path and put wonderful people in our lives to touch us and teach us to be better people. All our friends whom we've stayed with have been very kind and supportive. My friend in Feltham has taken the extra mile to enable our stay in her home to be perfect. She has been a very gracious hostess and anticipated our every need. We are spoilt rotten here. I believe Osh Osh would love to carry on staying here and replace his Mummy for her!

Our friends here have their own problems and crosses to bear as well. However, they are incredibly positive people who strive to make the most out of each day, helping others and making a difference in the community they live in. They inspire me to want to do more and to think beyond my own problems and heartaches. I'm reminded by a question that is often asked in quizzes and polls - who is your hero? My answer to that today is the people who are genuine in all that they do and who care for you unconditionally, wanting the best for you. I am so blessed that my friends here fit that description to a tee!

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