Down and out

I'm definitely down and out! Please do not read this post on a full stomach as it's not going to be pretty.

I am down with food poisoning since Saturday morning. I haven't got a clue which food caused it because DH and Osh Osh had the same things I did and they are fine. It's one of those fluky mishaps that you can't explain. One that made me think that someone out there is playing a bad joke on me. Okay, I won't go on and on about how unfair life is because I know if I say that, it's not the logical me talking. Rather, it's the voice of the physically tired, diarrhea drained, puked out and bled dry (yes, I'm also having my menses cramps at the same time! Blood and shit...the whole works!) soul which is being poured out in this post.

I didn't think it was going to be this horrible so I actually took Osh Osh to the mall near where DH worked so that all of us could have lunch together after DH finished his duty on Saturday afternoon. I had to run to the public bathroom 4 times while we were there. As I couldn't leave Osh Osh outside the cubicle, he had to come in with me. He was very patient despite having to stand in the foul stenched cubicle with his nauseous Mummy. I knew all he wanted was to go to the bookshop and yet, I had to keep dragging him to the toilet with me. DH finished work late so by the time we met up, he had to buy packed lunch home as I was feeling too tired and drained to be decent company to anyone.

Still, I kept my chin up and insisted that we attend the cell group meeting later that evening. DH was concerned as he knew that I was not doing so well. I told him, "This is Satan trying to keep us away from our cell group! I won't let him win! We will go no matter what!" If DH thought I was delirious when I said that, he didn't show it. He let me nap while he bathed and tended to Osh Osh and got him to nap too.

My stomach was churning so much that evening that it was very difficult for me to sit there to pray, share and worship God. It was an ordeal and finally towards the closing prayers, I had to dash to the toilet. I threw up in my host's guest toilet! I cleaned the place up and sheepishly came out of the toilet. I whispered to DH, "I puked in the toilet. Did anyone hear?" He said no as our cell group leader was still talking when I was in the toilet. I felt so bad as the toilet smelt bad. I prayed that the next person who went to use it wouldn't say anything. Thankfully, he didn't! Whew! Still, I can't help but feel so embarrassed.

I still had a stubborn streak in me to not allow Satan to win. Somehow, in my mind, this affliction is his doing to keep me from attending church. We all went to church on Sunday morning. Thankfully, I didn't throw up and I only had to go to the toilet twice. The two good things about church yesterday were Pastor's sermon was good and Osh Osh had a nice time in Sunday School. He proudly told me that he now has his own name tag. They didn't give him one earlier as he was a new student and I think they wanted to see if we were really serious in letting him attend the class each Sunday. Osh Osh now feels included because he has his identity etched out on a plastic name card hung at the end of a green ribbon which he wears around his neck.

I was so tired last night with the diarrhea and the painful cramps that I told DH this morning that I am going to take the day off. I couldn't get out of bed to go to work. Osh Osh was very sympathetic. He climbed into bed with me this morning and asked me if it was his fault that I was sick. I assured him that it had nothing to do with him and prayed for him before he left to school with DH.

Looking back, I must have been delirious. Why did I put myself through the agony of fighting this bout of food poisoning and pretending that I was well enough to go about my daily routine? I wasn't able to worship God properly. There were several times throughout the weekend that I was cranky and took it out on DH and Osh Osh. I'm sure God would have forgiven me if I stayed home to rest.

So, the next time I try to be this neurotic "no illness can make me stay down" woman, knock some sense into me!