No, I've not been asked by some famous Hollywood director and producer to allow them to film my life and sell it as a blockbuster. I wish that were true but right now, this is as good as it gets.
I came across a movie trailer on Yahoo titled Motherhood. It's directed by Katherine Dieckmann and the stars are Uma Thurman and Anthony Edwards (he used to play Dr Mark Greene in ER - ah....how long ago was that??)
As you know, movie trailers are always fast, short and catchy. It did just that to me. It caught me!
The story evolves around Uma Thurman's character. She used to be a writer who gave that up to be a stay at home mother to her 6 year old daughter and her toddler son. She is swamped with the perils of motherhood on a daily basis and starts losing sight of who she was before the diapers, the breast-feeding, the laundry, the errands and various other constant juggling activities of a wife and mother.
She receives snide and hurtful remarks from the other mothers she meets. In a playground, a woman commented sarcastically, "Wow, you're a stay at home Mum? Nobody in this city would admit to that!"
Another scene was when she was speaking to one of her daughter's friend's mother to invite them to her daughter's birthday party. The lady was a classy French woman living in a posh apartment in Manhattan whereas Uma' character lived in Greenwich Village. The lady spoke in a snooty French accent, "You're so brave. Just to live as you do, the stairs, the children, the car, the dog. Oh, are you wearing a nightgown under your coat?"
I've been there before, many times, at the receiving end of such criticisms. It tore my self esteem apart being looked down and belittled when I was trying all that I can to compose myself and be a good mother.
Uma told her husband played by Anthony Edwards, "I'm submitting a piece to a parenting magazine. I have to write 500 words about what motherhood means to me." There was a pause of silence. Anthony spoke without really thinking, 'Do you think this is the best use of your creative energy?"
Uma was shattered. I'm sure Anthony meant well but his words came out all wrong. Many a times, DH has the best intentions and does what he thinks would make me happy but I interpret it all wrongly and it often ends up in fights and tears.
However, I think Anthony is supportive of Uma's quest to find herself and her personal purpose in life. While they were sitting in their car, he looked at her and said, "I want you to live your life with passion," and she broke down in tears.
Uma's friend shared with her this jewel, "Motherhood is about accepting things that you can't control. Do you know how heartbreaking that is?"
The scene changes and Uma sits across their living room looking at her toddler son playing. She waves a little wave at him and he smiles and waves back. She starts tearing up again.
Being a mother is indeed heartbreaking. You feel a range of emotions you have never felt before, the word "fatigue" becomes a daily living reality and at the same time, you wouldn't want to trade it for anything else in the world. Yes, as depicted in the trailer of this movie, being a mother entails a lot of crying. I can vouch for that. As they say, if I had a dime for every time I cried as a mother, I would be rich enough to fund the making of my own movie and market it worldwide with spare change to boot!
I don't know how the movie will end but I have a hunch it's got a Hollywood feel-good ending. Uma probably wins the writing competition and goes on to be a successful published author. She finds purpose and fulfillment in her life. Her relationship with her husband improves dramatically (including her libido!) and her children grow up beautifully.
If my life was a movie, that is definitely the ending I desire!
The release date for this movie is October 16th. You know where to find me on that day - at the cinema, with a big tub of popcorn, a sinful fizzy drink and lots of tissues! Want to join me?
2 comments:
i like these 2 actors but i don't like the way sahms or motherhood in general is portrayed in hollywood or popular culture.
imo your feel good ending betrays something here. why shd she win some big award, become a published author etc to justify herself. too often, as women, we look for outside acclamation to justify our lives. we think tt our lives are worth less (or even wasted) if the only thing we've done is spend it at home, keeping house and bringing up kids. but imo, being a mother n a homemaker/helpmeet is a precious gift and privilege. it shd not be looked down on, it shd not be valued any less than tt big time award n authorship. what if she went back to her hum drum life n toiled at her marriage and to bring up her kids? tt's not a feel good ending but tt certainly is true for most of us - no movie to be made there i know. but isn't tt what hollywood does to us - make us desire something unreal and make us think tt we deserve it? doesn't it just perpetuate a fiction and make us feel tt our toil is so undeserved n unfair when it's just simple plain real life?
i have some strong feelings abt this (especially lately) so i'm sorry if i'm stepped on yr toes or burst a bubble.
No offence taken! :) Who knows? The ending of Motherhood may just be as you described. Wahey! Hollywood has matured to face reality! In any event, this post was meant to be tongue in cheek as I know how real our lives can be and often it's not pretty. But it's life!
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