Regret

Yes, I'm back from my break to visit my parents. Right now, I'm in the office catching up on my own work and also covering my colleague's work. She'll be away this entire week so I'm pretty swamped. Luckily, it's the Christmas season so the workload is not as heavy as on normal days. However, trying to bring myself up to speed on my own work and looking after hers has left me quite exhausted and it's just barely past lunch time!

It was a good break. However, when we came home on Saturday afternoon, reality set in. I got short tempered again and quarrelled with DH yesterday. He was fed up and disappointed in me as we got along fine when we were away. What he said last night left me stunned. He said that he's too tired to carry the weight of the family on his shoulders. I didn't understand what he meant so I asked him quietly. He said he cannot be the only one trying to be cheerful and to lift me up each time I am down. I need to show him that I want to start being positive about things rather than whine and complain all the time. He's right. I always ask him to help me feel better when I am kicked in the gut, reeling over. It's a heavy responsibility on his part as he has his own worries involving work, studies and being a good husband and father. I often forget that and take him for granted.

I feel really bad right now as our argument yesterday tainted the end of a very nice holiday. We were both happy with each other and Osh Osh was really having a good time with my parents. I guess there is no one to blame for this except myself.