I've been hit again. It seems that every time I move forward in my walk with God or even make a small improvement to my attitude towards my life in general, something happens to pull me back down into that dark ugly pit of gloom.
So, I am there now. It's not a pretty sight. The more I struggle to get out, the more I find the miry pit having a stronger, tighter grip on my sanity. What do I do? Stay put? It's not very pleasant for DH and Osh Osh when I dwell in this pit. DH stays away from me lest I start barking at him. Osh Osh attempts to come close but he gets a very cold treatment in return. The poor little boy goes away wide-eyed, not really understanding why although his Mummy still looks the same, she is behaving like the Queen Monster of Gloom. He rather have an imaginery fight with Magneto (nemesis of the X Men leader, the Professor) than try his luck to talk to his Mummy again.
When I checked my online Christian devotional today, the article was on taking the next step when one is feeling overwhelmed. Don't attempt to resolve all your troubles within the next few hours, it declared loudly. Just think about the next thing you need to do and then get up and do it. If you need to do the laundry, go do it. Once that's done, move on to the next thing that needs to be done. Along the way, you will meet God in those next steps, the writer shares confidently as she felt peace while doing these little things on her to do list.
I'm doing the little "next things" in my list. The top of the pit still seems far beyond my reach but prayerfully, a ladder will be lowered and I will get a good grip of it to climb out of this pit. In the meantime, I better send this off to be published and go wash my mug of coffee.